When an individual does not become conscious of their inner contradictions, the world acts out the conflict and is torn in opposite halves. 

 – Carl Gustav Jung, The Undiscovered Self

Conflict has two aspects – first, the substantive issues, second the emotional reactions and judgments of the participants about each other and the situation. The substantive issues can be resolved using the methods of principled negotiation described by authors such as Roger Fisher and William Ury  (Getting to Yes), Roger Fisher and Danny Ertel (Getting Ready to Negotiate), and Daniel Dana (Conflict Resolution). Roger Fisher and Scott Brown describe the emotional issues (Getting Together - Building a Relationship That Gets to Yes). These authors wisely point out that “although it takes two people to have a relationship, it takes only one person to change its quality” and explain their strategy for building a constructive relationship. Because of our interest in collaboration, and given the enormous cost of conflict, we have been searching for new and effective methods of resolving conflict that are rapid, simple, and easily learned. We also required that one person can use these skills to change the quality of the relationship. 

The number one cause of business failure is management problems, and more specifically conflict, often between the business owners. WeQ Consulting is investigating the impact of management roles on organizational conflict in single-owner and partnership enterprises. We have developed a unique method (Unilateral Conflict Resolution) for reducing the cost of these role-based conflicts.

Conflict escalates when participants mutually indulge in a reactive attack - defend cycle based on their biological survival mechanisms. The conflict only terminates when there is a winner and a loser, when one party turns to flee. Reactions are based on patterns from the past; they are programmed behaviours that tend to be rigid and repetitive, even when they are inappropriate to the current situation. By way of contrast, responsive behaviours are appropriate to the present situation; they are based on reflection, and are creative and flexible.

The Unilateral Conflict Resolution process begins when one party to the conflict, instead of reacting, chooses to respond. In this mode of consciousness, conflict does not escalate, and mutually satisfying outcomes can be reached. The goal of unilateral conflict resolution is to understand the other person, and to change our own thoughts and feelings about them. Instead of assuming what the other person is thinking and feeling, and trying to change them, we seek to understand them. Instead of seeking to pinpoint blame, we seek to understand cause, and take responsibility for changing our own attitudes and actions.  

"Remember that the person with higher consciousness is the one who is most flexible, who avoids fixed patterns, who flows in every life situation so as not to get involved in addictive irritations. The person with higher consciousness creates a peaceful world in which to live. This can be done regardless of whether or not you are with people who are consciously working on their growth.

It takes two people to have an ego battle. But it only takes one person to create the peace and love of higher consciousness! The other person can be inflexible, power-oriented, ego-dominated and hostile. If you can operate from the Love Level of Consciousness or any higher level, your love and your conscious perceptiveness will enable you to flow in every situation." - Ken Keyes, Jr.